i am very pissed off

I don't know if it is my mood or what but for some reason everyone has been pushing my buttons today. it is about 12:36am and i am just now getting home, don't get me wrong, i don't mind being out late but when i say i am not feeling well that's what i mean. i hate it when people try to talk over me like i am not even there or like they don't give a damn about my feelings. i am a sweet person, so why do people who say they love me choose to dismiss me. i have not been this upset in a long time and i don't like it at all. i have kept my temper under control for a long time now but when you push me a little to far everything goes out the window and i forget that i am a good person. i was with this person tonight (a family member) and i just wish i would have stayed in my house, because i have had a very good week and this was a very bad way to end it. i try to make everyone happy but i cant help it when i am not really in the mood to be in a car for hours on end and going places where i don't want to go. i hate it when some people make me feel like i have been avoiding them when i don't want to see them every damn day. i don't think that makes me a bad person it just means i have a life. family is suppose to love you know matter what you do or who you are, but i guess i only have one half that does. i am loving, caring, compassionate , and a very understanding person. i try to make time for everyone but there is only so much i can do and i hate to be pushed or forced into a situation that i don't want to be in. don't make me feel bad because i did not call every day! don't criticize me when i say i had something else to do! don't tell me that i don't want to be around you when you know you are the reason for my unhappiness! don't tell me that i am ungrateful and that i only come around when i want something from you, because that is a lie! lastly, don't and i repeat don't take me for granted, don't call me selfish, and don't tell me that i am a user because i am not. i just had to get this off my chest before i went to sleep, because you know what they say " never go to bed mad". so, to that i will say goodnight and i love you all. Keep me in your prayers
-xxxx