This is the real me!

Lately i have been taking a long look at my self and my personality. I don't know if it is because someone told me that i was not being true to myself or was it because it seems like i am not getting what i put out into the world.


Sometimes i feel like i don't fit into the place that i am in right now. i feel like i am living a life that someone else should be living. I love my friends and my family, but sometimes i feel like i am not being the person that i want to be. I feel like i am being someone else to make others happy. When i am at home and alone i feel like i am the only one on the planet and nothing else is even around me. I feel like the people that i let in don't get me and that's ok but sometimes it can feel so lonely. I feel like at times that i am not exceeding the expectations that people have for me and i feel bad about that, because i don't want to let them down. I feel like i have to be this sweet person 24/7 when half the time i wish i could say whats really on my mind with out the fear that i will be disliked. i wish i could be like some people that i know and not give a damn what people think about me. I say that i don't care what people think and i don't depending on who you are and if i care about you and your thoughts.


when i do break down and let people into my world it is hard because they don't always turn out to be the people i think they are. it is hard for me to let people in because i don't want to be hurt or let down. I don't want them to pretend to care when they don't, because that just make s me feel used and makes me want to shut down even more.


when i love, i love fiercely and unconditionally. I am the kind of person that keeps her emotions inside and when i do let them out for you to see, it is only because i believe in you and i trust that you will be there for me when i need you.


who is the real me? I am kind, caring,honest, giving,loving, emotional ( if i know i can trust you), bitchy ( but only if you cross me), and a very good friend. I can keep secrets, because i have a few of my own, and i know when to keep my mouth shut. I have a fear of letting people in but if i do let you in, you should know that it was hard for me to do and i don't do that often. I don't like when people take advantage of my good nature and try to use me for their own sadistic nature. i don't like to be used for anything, but in this world everyone uses everyone for something so i should get use to it.