Ok. So, i know it is late but i can not sleep. I met this guy and he has a 15 year old son that lives with him full time. As you all know i love kids, so this would be new for me. i never had to deal with a teenager before.
This guy has been talking to me for a while now and we went to brunch on sunday. He is sweet, kind, he makes me laugh , and as some of you know i need to laugh to forget about things. His name is Craig, but i call him John (that's his middle name) because i can only have the same name in my phone twice with out getting confused. He helps me to forget about the things that are bothering me and i like that. He calls me to see how i am at least once a day since last week. He says he wants to get to know me and see where things go, but i am not sure if he can be trusted. He called me yesterday and we talked for about an hour or so and again tonight for 2 hours. He is being very consistent and i like that, because no one likes to be left in the dark or have the feeling of not knowing what's coming next.
I don't know what to do, because my heart is still hurt and i am still crying at night before i go to sleep. He knows what i have been through and he said that he wants to be my friend, but i know that he likes me. I am so conflicted with my feelings. When i talk to him i laugh, but then i cry, because i think about all the lose and pain that i have been through. He said that sometimes it is good to have a guy to talk to, but for a man who does not know me that well, he has shown me that he really cares about me. I don't get to see him that much, but he finds the time to talk to me on the phone or by email. I know it might sound strange but he makes me feel wanted, if that makes sense. He told me that i make him smile when we are on the phone and when he thinks about me.
I just don't know how to feel or even how to process what i am feeling right now. The one thing i do know, is that out of all my male friends he has been the only one to call me just when i need it the most. It is kind of weird, because it is like he is in my head. When ever i feel like i cant take it or like i am going to cry he calls. Oh well, i guess i just have to wait and see what happens next. I hope it is something wonderful, because i don't think i could survive any more pain.
-xoxoxo
