Life is what happens when your?

I was talking to a friend of mine and we were going over the random things that have happened to me over the past 13yrs since she has known me. I never really thought about it until now but a few of those random things could have killed me. I know that i picked a strange time to bring this up but today we were talking about it an we laughed, because she asked me if i was cursed. I don't believe in that, but it is something to think about. Lets run down a list of things that have happened to me.
1. a car crash on January of 04. my father and i could have been killed but we lived thanks be to god. i figured it just was not my time or his. I knew we could have been killed because he saw the same type of accident and no one survived.
2.a series of fires that happened in the same year lead to one that also could have killed me. it was march of 05. One person was killed and several injured. Again i said it was not my time, because that one was close.
3. a hostage situation on thanksgiving of 06.I had just gotten home a week or so before that when a man decided that just because a baby was crying he could not take it any more. i had to walk out of my building hands held high and about a block to get into my cousins car. . That was a sad day, not because of me but because of the evil that some people have in their hearts.If you are sad and want to kill your self be my guest but don't take Innocent people with you.
I think god puts us through things just to see what we can a can not handle. He protects his children from harm and danger. I believe that, because there have been times when i know that i could have been taken away. I am grateful for the things and the people that i have in my life and i don't think i could ask for anything more. I think the things that have happened to me and to all of us make us stronger people.
So, be blessed and grateful for every day, because only god knows when our time is up.
I pray to god every day that i do the best that i can and that i make the right decisions. I pray that my heart can be open to love those who have hurt me and forgive those who have wronged me. I pray that my friends and family don't take things for granted that they should not, because anything or anyone can betaken away in a blink of an eye. Most importantly i pray for the life that god gave me, because with out the obstacles that i have gone through ( only 3 of my readers know about all of them) i don't think i would be the person that i am today. So, i thank god for making me the person that i am.With no complaints or arguments i keep going and i think you all should do the same.

one can't play this game pt 2

Logic and reason go out the window when we think we have found the one. The one that we think is good for us and the one we think we can help. Yes, he has his down falls and yes he might not be perfect but for some reason we can not let him go. He might say one thing and mean another or he will flat out lie, just because he thinks he can. He might say the right things to keep us around, but sooner or later ladies we are going to have to put the men in there places. 

Men this goes for you to, women are not the only ones who put their faith and heart into the one they want to be with. You men just have an ass backwards way of doing things. Men no more games, unless you are willing to lose everything.

We all have our short comings and we all have something in us that the opposite sex is looking for. God made each one of us. He did not make us all the same, but at the same time he made someone that we are compatible with. He is not going to let this person into our lives until we learn how to live,love, and care for our selves. He would not and will not bring that person into our lives knowing full well that we are just going to hurt them. He will not let that person come into our lives knowing that they are going to pulled down into our own personal hell. God loves all his children and wants us to be happy.

Can love and lust make us crazy? I think it can, because sometime they get confusing in our minds and hearts. Can our emotions make us weak for the ones that might not deserve our hearts? Yes and no depending on who that person is and if you think he/she is worth the pain that might come along. Will we all fall in love? Oh god i hope so, because i don't want to walk this world alone. Is it right for us to make others feel bad, because someone else makes us feel like we are important when knowing there are others in our lives who do the same thing? No, everyone in our lives gives us something different and make us feel loved. 

Don't make promises you cant keep and don't make others feel like they are useless just because they are not following you around like a pup or making you top priority. 

No one person can love and care for you like god does. so, stop looking and maybe, just maybe that whom ever he/she might be will come to you ready and willing. 

One can't play this game

The number one question is this, can you be open and honest with the person that you claim you want to be with?

Honesty, is the best policy. Telling people what you want from them with out playing the head games, thinking they know what you are thinking is a cruel joke. Making them think that you want more from them, when you cant even find your ass is even worse. Leading, manipulating, lying, and secrets can make people question you and your state of mind. Talking and being  honest can get you along way with me or anyone else that i know. Relationships regardless if they are dating/friendships are built on knowing that you have a person there that you can share almost anything with.

Relationships are hard enough in the world that we live in. Don't mess them up by bringing sex into the play unless you and the other person both know what is going on in the others head. Sex is a way of hiding when you don't want to talk about what's going on in your life. It is an escape that some men/women use when they don't know what they want but they know they want sex. When you are friends and i have friends that i just call friends, i don't use them for sex when ever i feel the need. I don't play with their feelings because i know that it can come back to bite me. If i want something more from a friend i have the guts and tell them, i don't just assume that they know what i want. The whole friends with benefits thing only works when you both know what's going on.

So, if you are one of these people that i am talking about, then tell the other what you want before it is too late and they end up hating you.

Obstacals

Life gives us obstacles that we have to go through every day of our lives. I think that it is up to us to figure out weather or not we do the right things. 

No one person is better than the next, and no one person can make decision for you but you. Everything that we do to, say to, and how we treat the people who come into our lives and or to the people who are already in our lives  says a lot about  our personality. If a friend helps you do you say thank you? i would hope so, because that is the right and gracious thing to do. If they do something for you that they did not have to do, do you appreciate them? Yes, because they could have said no. When you need help (we all need help) you know that there are people in your corner who you can turn to for help is a good thing, because some people  do not have that. Obstacles in families, jobs, relationships, and personal trials are just a few examples. Some we/you go through a lone and some might take a little extra help from others , because like i said before no one person is perfect.

Say thank you to the people that help you.

Tell the people who help that you appreciate them for what they do for you.

Understand that when they do something for you, it is not to make you happy, but they do it because they care for you and want the best for you.

Tell your friends that you love them, because sometimes they need to know it and hear it from you.

Have respect for, be honest to, and treat the people that you love or claim you love well, because one day you might just look up and they will no longer be there.

Obstacles, they come in many shapes and forms. All we can do is pray, be patient, and hope that we make the right decisions.

( To all the people who have helped me, i say thank you, i love you, and always remember i will be there for you when you need me like you are there for me)

a dream from hell

I had a dream last night and it scared the living hell out of me. I went to bed at 3am after what i thought was a good day. I spent time with a friend we laughed and talked about things that made us feel a little depressed and happy. 

Things were going well until i got home. I spent a little time online getting things set up and seeing if everything was they was it was supposed to be. 

I got settled into bed and everything went down hill from there. I had a dream that mad me literally jump out of my sleep. 

I was working with my friend in a church, but it was not really a church. We were talking and laughing with each other, if anything i can say that maybe, i was a little to happy. There were other people there that i knew but only in the dream not in real life. There was a scene that faded in and out. It was  me with my mother suddenly, she was a little older and she kept telling me that she loved me and that she was happy that i did not give up on her. That happened a few times throughout out my dream. I faded back into my friend and i. We where getting a long better than i think we do in real life ( that i think is weird but what ever). We where in my house laughing, playing, and just being happy with each other. There was nothing sexual about it at all, it was just two friends having fun together. I faded back to my mom and it was the same as before nothing new. When i picked back up to my friend and i we were both getting into shady looking car's. He was driving on the side of me making faces and making me laugh ( we both did that back and forth). I was so happy and i thought that was a good thing but what happened next hurt me to my core. Some how we ended up going our separate ways and i was still happy and i had this strange feeling like there was a baby in the back seat of my car but i never really confirmed that. I think i drove for about 10 or 15 min when out of no where a man was standing on the corner in white shoes, blue jeans, a blue and red jersey with numbers on it, and a ear ring in his ear. When i woke up i could still see his face clear as i am alive. He looked at me dead in my eyes and he shot the front end of my car and it exploded with me inside. I could hear the gunshot as if it were right next to my head. I jumped up out of my sleep and i could hardly catch my breath. My heart was beating so fast i thought i was going to have a heart attack. Why would i dream something like this? Why would my friend make me so happy but then i end up dead in the end? We got along fine and i know it did not have anything to do with him, but why would he be the one making me happy and in the end i lost my life? I love my friend and i want him to be happy and i want to be happy also, so that's why i was happy that we were both happy in my dream. My friend is kind, sweet, understanding, and a very good person. He is there for me when i need him, that's the problem why would i associate him with a painful death. What does it mean? is someone going to hurt me and i am not going to be able to come back from it? Is a new love in my life going to put my life in danger? Is my friend going to turn on me and hate me to the point when i feel like i want to die? I don't know what to think, i just want clarity.

-dazed and confused-