dreams

dreams have a way of telling us what we dont want to hear. they are a window into our inter-most desires and our fears. i had a dream that did not scare me but it woke me up from a deep sleep. in my dream, i was happy. i was so deep in love that i did not even realize that it was a dream. it felt so real and i was so happy, it almost hurt to wake up...i guess because my life is so crazy that my dreams are my only outlet.
i thought my love life was fading but thats only because i wont give in to the person who loves me the most. to the person who is always a constant in my life. yes he has hurt me and yes i have hurt him, but thats what people do. lol, i changed the subject, lets get back to the dream.
his hand curved around me elbow, moving slowly down my arm,across my ribs and over my waist, tracing along my my hip and down my leg, around my knee. he pulled my leg up suddenly, hitching it around his hip. he pulled me closer to him as if he were trying to conceal me from the pain that was around us. keeping me from from all the hurt that he has caused me. he made me feel safe in his arms and loved. he traced my face and at the same time he whispered i am sorry i hurt you, and i am sorry i left you.
this dream went on for what seemed like days. when i woke up i was happy and i almost felt like i could truly forgive,all because of a dream. i wish it was that easy. i wish i could be that open. all my dream told me was that i missed him in my life and in my heart. maybe one day we will find our way back to each other or maybe not, but i do know this i cant shut down because of past pain. i have to be open to new love, but if the past comes back to me well then, so be it.