un-titled

Life-Love-Drama-Complications, is the title of my blog, but i have found out recently that it is true to form...
life is complicated enough as it is, with all the drama that, work, school, and relationships bring to the table. why do some of us go out looking for more?
love, is a big open word. love means many things to many people.i love you means that i care about your well being. it can mean i cant live my life with out you in it in some way. it can also mean, i am in love you and i want to spend the rest of my life with you. this small four letter word can hurt or it can heal a persons heart, soul, and mind..
drama is a word that some of us wish we never even heard of. it carries so much confusion and unwanted stress. drama can make people crazy, foolish, and makes people do things that they would not normally do..
take some advice from me please, and try to apply it to your life.. don't let your past influence your future.. don't ever think that you are not loved or wanted, because as long as you have friends in your life and close family, thats something you never have to question.. don't cut your self down because you don't think you are good enough.. don't ever say that you wish you were better, because others have what you don 't, just try to work a little harder to get what you want.
so, if you don't think you are loved, i am here to tell you that you are.. if you don't think you have friends, well i can only speak for me, you will always have a friend in me. so n matter where life takes all of us, we just have to hold on to our souls.

dreams

dreams have a way of telling us what we dont want to hear. they are a window into our inter-most desires and our fears. i had a dream that did not scare me but it woke me up from a deep sleep. in my dream, i was happy. i was so deep in love that i did not even realize that it was a dream. it felt so real and i was so happy, it almost hurt to wake up...i guess because my life is so crazy that my dreams are my only outlet.
i thought my love life was fading but thats only because i wont give in to the person who loves me the most. to the person who is always a constant in my life. yes he has hurt me and yes i have hurt him, but thats what people do. lol, i changed the subject, lets get back to the dream.
his hand curved around me elbow, moving slowly down my arm,across my ribs and over my waist, tracing along my my hip and down my leg, around my knee. he pulled my leg up suddenly, hitching it around his hip. he pulled me closer to him as if he were trying to conceal me from the pain that was around us. keeping me from from all the hurt that he has caused me. he made me feel safe in his arms and loved. he traced my face and at the same time he whispered i am sorry i hurt you, and i am sorry i left you.
this dream went on for what seemed like days. when i woke up i was happy and i almost felt like i could truly forgive,all because of a dream. i wish it was that easy. i wish i could be that open. all my dream told me was that i missed him in my life and in my heart. maybe one day we will find our way back to each other or maybe not, but i do know this i cant shut down because of past pain. i have to be open to new love, but if the past comes back to me well then, so be it.

happy 09!

i know i am late, oh well sue me. i hope everyone had a safe and happy new year. I hope that your year did not end on bad terms and i hope that you got to make amends for any wrong doings that you might have caused.i think that the way you start the new year off is a key to how you will continue on through out the year.

i feel blessed to be able to see another year and i hope to see many more to come. there are people that have passed that i will forever miss but they will always have a place in my heart. in 08 there was pain, heartache, and loss, but on the other hand there was friendship, love, and loyalty. 2009 is only five days old, so if there are corrections you want to make i think you still have time. if there are things about your self that you don't like change them now!if you are doing things that hurt others in away that you don't want to be hurt well then stop! if you know that your life could be better, well than you know what you have to do to fix it.
2009 holds so many possibilities, but if you don't look for them and except them you will be forever lost.
here is a list of things i want you to say to people. i cant promise much but i can say this when saying these words, you will make someone feel so much better about them selves.
1.say i am sorry for
a. not loving you.
b. leaving you when you needed me the most.
c. not see what was right inb front of my eyes.
2.say i love you.
3.say i forgive you.
4.say you are my best friend.
5.say god has blessed my life and now i want to be a blessing in yours.
6.say look after my heart for i have left a piece of it with you.
7.say keep your self safe, because your life is more precious than you know.