My Babay Boy

i was very excited and nervious when i found out i was having a baby, but i got over that very fast. I was just happy and then to find out i was having a boy was even better. i was so happy that i for got about the medical things that could come up for us both. i am not the healthiest person so i knew it was going to be a long but well worth it ride..
For the first few months it was smooth sailing for my little one and i. yes, i had regular doctors appointments but that was fine with me. I was happy and nothing could change that. then i hit 16 weeks and everything went to hell.. i a now 22 weeks and baby boy is doing well, considering mom is being put through the ringer but it is all worth it to know that he is doing well and is healthy..
so, for the next 18 weeks or so i will be calling U of C hospital my home..

its been too long...

i just realized that i have not made a blog post since june, and thats just not like me. i have been going through so much and i guess i just really have not had the time, but i have been writing in my personal journal. i have started working then i was off for a while do to " personal" reasons or thats what they like to call it. i have see my sweetie constantly and its going very very well. he makes me happy. he brings out the good in me when others have only uncovered the bad, or the dysfunctional. he is so sweet and giving to me. he takes time to make sure I'm ok even though i am not the kind of person who would ask for help, even when its really needed and or necessary. he has brought the light back into my life, when others have buried it because they only wanted one thing or they just really didn't know how to love or even be honest with me. Since the last time i posted anything i turned the big 30 and at first i was dreading it but I'm learning to love my new found age and the woman i am becoming. i didn't know that it would take me 30yrs and a few boyfriends to finally find the right one for me. i thought i found him when i was 17, than again at 26 and then again at 27 but it took be turning 28 to find the right "buttercup". i love to call him that even though i know he wants me to keep it between us.
enough about my personal and private life, i want to get to the heavy and i want to get back to the things that have been on my mind. I'm not a very political person but i do know that the things that i have been hearing about are way crazy and needs to be changed..
the world at hand and i must say,it is a strange and confusing place to be.. i think we are taking so many things for granted, praying that things will get better if we pour more money into it without doing the work that it takes to make things change.. we are so use to getting what we want and when that we forget that it does take work and i do mean a lot of work. i think that this country is being run by fools not all of them are fools, because i voted for the president and I'm happy with what he is doing and i hope he continues to do great thing. because lets face it he has to fix 8ys worth of crap the "he who will remain nameless caused" and some people think that he is not doing it fast enough, but if you think about it how can he. its not like every thing just came to a halt. the world kept going so before he can fix the past problems he has to make sure he says on top of what's going on right now. there is too much fighting, killing of young innocent children and men and women because of the lack of understanding. i think what's going down in egypt is something we need to look at and learn from them. but in stead we have some that don't know or who could careless. and i think that a shame because what if what's going on there happens here? I'm sure i am not alone when saying that i would want others to care and try to help if they can..
I don;t think god is too happy with his little children and i think he knows that we can and we should do better by each other. god is on our side but first we have to show him that we are worth his time and his faith.. this world needs to change because if it doesn't things are not going to get better and our father above will put us all on trial for not being the best we can be..
I know that this has been all over the place but thats where my mind is right now. all over the place with no particular train of thought just a lot of randomness.. lol, maybe i have ADD or ADHD either way i love who i am, my god loves me and my family loves me so thats all that matters..
xoxox hugs and love